With updated profile pictures and playful threats, the Royal Family ends the mourning period

The period of mourning for Queen Elizabeth is officially over, and the royal family is back to doing what they do best: wearing brooches and coats to memorialise their deceased relatives, acting passive-aggressively toward one another, clinging to relevance, etc.

The formidable royal duty of upgrading their profile images has been taken on by King Charles (formerly Prince) and Camilla, Queen Consort. A picture of the two of them looking ahead as if they are waiting for the tube to arrive—something they have never done and will never do—can be found on the official royal Instagram and Twitter accounts right now. The Bank of England has announced the release date for Charles’ coins and banknotes: mid-2024! The 73-year-old has had numerous significant career upgrades.

Prince George threatens classmates with this position, hinting that he is already planning for a period when his grandpa will no longer be king. According to Katie Nicholl, a Royal Family specialist and the author of the book The New Royal Family, the child heir to the kingdom warned a classmate, “My father will be King, so you best lookout.” The threat from the 9-year-old was described as “cheeky” by The Mail, which it most likely was. He is only a child! Additionally, I believe that British aristocracy threats are all naturally cheeky.

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Meghan and Harry’s standing has been downgraded in an arrogant and passive-aggressive threat: The Countess of Wessex and The Duke of Gloucester, as well as Uncle Randy Andy’s page, are directly below and next to theirs on the official Royal Family website. Although legally, I don’t believe Andy is allowed at the kids’ table, I would make a joke about their being seated there. According to The Daily Beast, this action will “certainly heighten conjecture that Charles is trying to decrease the public impression of their role.” Consider my conjecture heightened.

But Meghan can now return to her primary calling—releasing her podcast Archetypes—all being well and good. The following episode of the show, which was put on hold to honour the Queen’s passing, will feature a guest appearance by Margaret Cho. James, Kate Middleton’s younger brother, also paid tribute to the Queen after her passing. In honour of Elizabeth’s father, Albert, he gave his new puppy the name “Bertie.”

It was amazing how the Queen devoted her life to service, and in many ways, Bertie the dog will do the same, James said in a statement to Hello! OK!

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